When I was alone no one told me...
You're so pretty.
I think you are so great.
I love that dinner you made.
You're so good with the kids.
Hon, you must be tired, let me help.
I like your hair that way.
And guess what!? I was still happy, and felt pretty, and confident.
(Don't get me wrong, it was still lonely)
So....Why when we are in a relationship do we expect the other person to create our happiness?
Why do we feel less than perfect when the compliments aren't the right way or not often enough?
It's not their job. If we know who we are and love who we are, then when someone acknowledges that, it would be so nice, but not a necessity to our personal happiness and wholeness.
Remember that you are still you and they are still them. And you both simply want to be loved, even through dumb decisions, even when we are wrong. We want someone to share our life with, enjoy the journey together.
If you lean too much, you could fall down. If you pull too much, they could fall down. But, if you are both standing strong, you can stay standing and hold each other through the tough stuff.
That sounds way better than falling down.
mwah! I love ya, hon!
You dont know me.. I am a friend of Sharon's. Anyway, she shared this link to your blog awhile ago, and I've been following you ever since. This post today really helped me a lot!! I have been feeling the need of "compliments" in my life for awhile now, but I know what my strengths and weaknesses are. I know that I need to become more sure of myself without the approval of others. Anyway, thank you for all your insight this last year. You seem like such an amazing, strong woman and I am so happy for you that you have found someone new. I look forward to more of your posts!!
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome Marcella and something so many women need to hear! You have such a great way of gleaning these experiences and expressing them well in words.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you are doing so well, I hope you in fact are. =)