Sunday, October 31, 2010

Goodmorning Sunshine

In my depth of despair..after being curled up in the corner feeling abandoned by the world. After hours of staring at my scriptures, not knowing what else to do with myself. A long drive home not knowing how I was going to continue my life once I arrived home. I sat in my car looking at the front door, tears streaming down my seemed no where to be found.

DING - a text message on my phone

Open my phone....

"Goodmorning Sunshine"

Then a new sweet voice on the phone brought me new hope, and all the strength I needed to get out of the car and begin my life, once again.

Thank goodness for Angels and unforseen answers to pleading prayers.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Now...everything is gone.

What?! No!? Can't be?! were my anchor. were my peace.
You..were my shoulder to cry on.
You ..caught my tears, you heard my screams, you listened, you understood.
You...the friend I was going to grow old with. beacon of hope. laughter in the middle of a storm. getaway. morning, lunchtime, anytime phone calls.

How?! Not this!? Not to me?! Not you! I need you!!!!!

Then a phone call....

Where is that voice? That calming, caring, loving, peaceful voice? The one that use to say, "Are you okay? Take a deep breath. Let's just think about this...I'm so sorry...everything's going to be okay." You, you are gone too!

What is happening to everyone!? Where is everyone going!?

It's a good thing I have myself put back together, or I would disappear!
But, I'll keep going and just tell myself.."I'm okay, everything's going to be okay."

Friday, October 8, 2010

Who needs 'em?

Church goin'
Dinner mak'n'
Health Conscious
Hard Work'n'
Service Oriented

Who needs all that in a girl when they have virtual perfection, a job that gives them gratification, desperate girls to flirt with, pretend worlds online to escape to...what does a plate of cookies and a pretty face count for anymore?

Who Knows!? I think the idea of a 'MAN' has been made up.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

My Angel

I knew I had to move.

So here I was, wondering why? What am I suppose to be doing here?

Then she moved in and I instantly know what I'm doing here.

She needs me just as much as I need her.

I can just walk in at anytime. I can open her fridge, I can fix dinner, do house chores, and stay as long as I want. She doesn't have a husband that comes home either.

She is what I had been praying for. I knew I needed a strong spiritual influence in my life. She has shown me what Faith is. I thought I had it before, but I don't think I have ever know how to actually use it.

She makes me feel needed. I am useful and am making a difference in her life. And in return, she has changed me forever. My Faith has become unwavering. My Spirit is renewed. I have a clear understanding of who I am and where I am going.

Even though there are still tough spots ahead and sad days, I do know that this life will be amazing for me and my kids. On the clear headed days where I am filled with the Spirit, it is overwhelming to have the knowledge of great blessings to come.

Thank you ANGEL! There is a special place waiting for you in Heaven along side your sweatheart.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I Miss....

I miss my friends.
I miss my church calling.
I miss coaching.
I miss my neighbor.
I miss my kids' friends.
I miss my family.
I miss my house.
I miss my big bed.
I miss my dog.
I miss my kitchen.
I miss doing preschool.
I miss getting up in the morning and going to bed at night.
I miss going to the gym.
I miss my dishes.
I miss making bread.
I miss my garden.
I miss my front porch.
I miss grocery shopping.
I miss coupons.
I miss my back yard.
I miss remodeling.
I miss my kitchen appliances.
I miss my kids' toys.
I miss my food storage.
I miss playgroup.
I miss the church building.
I miss baking treats for parties.

It's just too much to miss, it just hurts today.