This is a second part to being in charge of your own happiness...
You're mad because you ate a piece of cake,
you then express that to your loved one,
the next day you go to buy some candy,
and your loved one says "I thought you didn't want to eat that way",
You think....Ah you think I'm fat!, Don't try to control me! etc., etc.,
You expressed a goal or concern that you know is making you less than you could be.
Your loved one wants you to be happy, so they try to encourage and remind you of what you expressed to be important to you.
Suck it up and don't get mad at your loved one, because you can't follow through on what makes you happy. They don't really care WHAT makes you happy, just as long as you do what makes you happy.
Take responsibility for own happiness.
Own it, it's your life!
P.S. Sometimes words of encouragment could be expressed in a better way. Just simply tell your loved one what is encouraging to you and what isn't. They want it to sound encouraging, help them out.
Hey Babe, I know you love me and are trying to be encouraging, but when you say........, sometimes it can sound like.........It would really help if you could just say............
I want to be encouraging to you. What helps you that I do, and what isn't helpful?