New Chapter

I've been running for so long. Running for survival. There wasn't a moment to stop and think. Only time to run. Now I'm where I want to be, yet my legs are use to running. I've got to slow down and enjoy the moments. There is time to think now. It's safe to make memories. It's safe to be here. I ran to the store to get shoes for my wedding day. I ran through the morning, fixing my hair and running kids here and there. We jumped in the car and hurried to the courthouse. Ceremony, pictures, dinner, home, moving, work, fix the cars, fix the house, keep unpacking.... Life won't slow down, but I want to capture these moments and make them a part of me. I don't need to run any longer. I am here. And it's so nice to be home.

Is this real?

As I stand in my kitchen putting my dishes away... The kids running in and out of the house... A good friend here to help out... My husband will be home in a few hours... Is this real? Somebody pinch me!

Reality of Divorce

Life is so good, so much happiness fills our days. But, there are still sad moments... One night Lulu was missing her Dad: "I miss my Dad and all my friends". Me: Honey, I moved a lot when I was a kid. I had to leave my friends and I missed them, but my life was still happy. Lulu: "Did your Dad live with you"? Me: Yes. Lulu: "Then you don't know. Your Dad always lived with you, mine doesn't"! Me: Speechless...just held her while she cried herself to sleep. As much pain as we all went through to end a life we knew, it's hard to realize that this little girl has to deal with that same pain as well. How do such big emotions and feelings fit into such a little girl? The fact is...they don't, and it's heart wrenching to see it spill out. -------------------- Bobo (while driving in the car): "I want to tell you about my Dad. He likes to sing, he is tall, he tells funny stories about monsters. You know my Dad"? Kids are truly amazing, and such a strength to others. I'm learning so much from them.

Insecurity Damage Control

This is a second part to being in charge of your own happiness...

You're mad because you ate a piece of cake,
you then express that to your loved one,
the next day you go to buy some candy,
and your loved one says "I thought you didn't want to eat that way",
You think....Ah you think I'm fat!, Don't try to control me! etc., etc.,

REALITY:
You expressed a goal or concern that you know is making you less than you could be.
Your loved one wants you to be happy, so they try to encourage and remind you of what you expressed to be important to you.

Suck it up and don't get mad at your loved one, because you can't follow through on what makes you happy. They don't really care WHAT makes you happy, just as long as you do what makes you happy.

Take responsibility for own happiness.
Own it, it's your life!

P.S. Sometimes words of encouragment could be expressed in a better way. Just simply tell your loved one what is encouraging to you and what isn't. They want it to sound encouraging, help them out.

Example:
Hey Babe, I know you love me and are trying to be encouraging, but when you say........, sometimes it can sound like.........It would really help if you could just say............

I want to be encouraging to you. What helps you that I do, and what isn't helpful?

Responsible for Your Own Happiness

When I was alone no one told me...

You're so pretty.
I think you are so great.
I love that dinner you made.
You're so good with the kids.
Hon, you must be tired, let me help.
I like your hair that way.

And guess what!? I was still happy, and felt pretty, and confident.
(Don't get me wrong, it was still lonely)

So....Why when we are in a relationship do we expect the other person to create our happiness?

Why do we feel less than perfect when the compliments aren't the right way or not often enough?

It's not their job. If we know who we are and love who we are, then when someone acknowledges that, it would be so nice, but not a necessity to our personal happiness and wholeness.

Remember that you are still you and they are still them. And you both simply want to be loved, even through dumb decisions, even when we are wrong. We want someone to share our life with, enjoy the journey together.

If you lean too much, you could fall down. If you pull too much, they could fall down. But, if you are both standing strong, you can stay standing and hold each other through the tough stuff.

That sounds way better than falling down.

mwah! I love ya, hon!

What a Difference 1 Year Makes

One year ago I was...

a stay at home mom.
going to play groups.
couponing.
making dinner.
spending hours on the phone.
crying myself to sleep.
hopeless.
devastated.
ending a life as had know it for 10 years.

One year later...

I have raised a smart little kindergartner.
I have found new love.
I have become a full-time corporate manager.
I am getting married.
I am moving to a new home.
I am excited about my future.
I feel confident of who I am.
I know what I am capable of.
I am incharge of my own happiness.
Life is better than I ever knew it could be!

Life isn't easy by any means, but who's is?!
Every type of life comes with it's own tough stuff, I know what my tough stuff is for now, and am overly joyed that I have an incredible man to share my life with.